Accepting "Ottsism"

A few weeks ago, we went for Finn's long awaited 2nd opinion at the Regional Autism Center at CHOP. Thank your lucky stars you've never needed to see a Developmental Pediatrician because the waiting list is about as long as Santa's naughty list. The good thing about having to wait over 10 months for a doctor's appointment is it gave me time to do my research. Originally, we wanted a 2nd opinion so we could prove the 1st diagnosis wrong. Now, we accept the diagnosis. We see it. We live it. Every. Day. 


Time gave me the ability to really learn about Autism and what it means in our child. I went into this appointment with knowledge instead of incredulity, looking for help instead of a miracle. 


The appointment went really well and I really liked the doctor. She gave Finn an intelligence test, which he did exceptionally well on. She said she couldn't stop the test until he got 5 wrong, so it took her a while! I was proud to see our boy, who normally struggles with so much, do so well on something! 


We broke for lunch and Finn and I went to a corner deli for lunch. I really enjoyed getting to be with Finn alone. While eating, I looked over at him and said "Isn't this a nice date, Finn?" He said, "This isn't a date, Mommy, it's a doctor's appointment." He's a stickler for the rules. 


When we returned, the Attending doctor came in to talk to us. She spoke to Finn for a few minutes, then turned to me and said "You believe the diagnosis, right?" I said, "Yea, I do." She said, "Because I see it and I've been talking to him for 5 minutes." She continued to say that his official diagnosis would be changed from PDD-NOS to High Functioning Autism. It means nothing to the man on the street and it shouldn't mean anything to us, either. It's just a label. The diagnosis is what rocked us, but we accept it now. We own it. We have to. It's our boy. Autism is our boy. And we love him, so how could we not love it, too?

This was our front door for Autism Speak's "Light it Up Blue" 

When we got home, I said to Finn, "Did you hear anything Mommy was saying to the doctor?" He said, "Yea, you said 'Otts' a lot." (Which is funny because in Temple Grandin's book, she said that people with Autism usually only hear the beginning or end of a word, that's why it's important to speak slowly) I said, "You mean Autism?" He said, "Yea. What is that?" I said, "It's just a different way of thinking." He said, "Oh." Not exactly a groundbreaking talk, but we were dipping our toes in the water. 


So, in honor of Autism (Acceptance) month, I got everyone in our family an "I love someone with Autism" button. Charlie and I wore it to school for an Autism presentation I did for his class. When we got home, Finn wanted to wear the button and asked, "What does that say?" Charlie told him, then Finn said, "Who has Ottsism?" Charlie came running into me because he didn't know how to answer him. I wasn't prepared to do a "big reveal" to Finn at that particular moment, but I didn't want to lie to him, so I held my breath and said, "You do, Finn." He said, "So, I love myself?" 

Charlie's class after our Autism presentation. 

Since then, Charlie has really been laying it on thick. He says, "Finn, you know what makes you awesome? Autism!" I guess I can't blame him. We've been whispering about it for so long. He's just happy to be out in the open about it! 


After I did the presentation in Charlie's class, he went to his old kindergarten teacher's class and did the presentation with them. He read a book about accepting kids with Autism and talked about being a good friend. Mrs. DiGenni said the kids were telling stories about kids who aren't nice to them. Charlie told them "there's a difference between Autism and kids who aren't nice to other kids!" He is wise beyond his years! But we already knew that!

This is Finn with his 1:1 aide Miss Merry today. 

I went into the boys' school to participate in the "Blow Bubbles for Autism" event today. I didn't think Finn would come out because the whole school was out there, but Mrs. H said she was going to try. To my surprise, out walked Finny! I was so proud of him! He was in good spirits until Charlie's friends started calling me a cheater for using a bubble machine (instead of blowing the bubbles the old fashioned way!) Finn yelled "Don't say that to my Mommy!" Loyal as a pitbull, that boy! Then the bubble blowing started and Finn got upset because someone "blew bubbles on him." Eh, you win some you lose some! I was just glad he came out! 


I later told him that all those kids came out to blow bubbles for him! He liked that. Believe it or not, he's come a long, long way in a very short time. He has really started to control his anger and use his words. I sometimes forget that he's still only 4 years old. I'm pretty sure I, myself, was still having temper tantrums at 4! We've had some amazing road trips the past few weekends and the summer is starting to look very hopeful for us! 


In this month of Autism Awareness (and Acceptance), we feel at peace with where we are in life. We have a son with Autism. We accept him for who he is. He may not behave perfectly. He may offend the old lady at the supermarket. But what's on the outside is only half his story. He has a heart of gold, a smile that could light New York City and the greatest laugh you've ever heard! We wouldn't change a thing!

Autism Presentation

The Falcon Film Files: The Falcon's Guide to Best Picture / Best Director for the 84th Academy Awards

The Falcon Film Files: The Falcon's Guide to Best Picture / Best Director for the 84th Academy Awards

Trouble with a capital TT!

We had a successful Halloween in the Costal house. Charlie was Mario, Joe was Wario (Mario's evil twin), Finn was his alter-ego Perry the Platypus and Henry and Tallulah were Mickey and Minnie. I played the role of crazy, red-headed housewife married to an even crazier Cuban... oh wait...

And speaking of trouble... it seems the little Miss just can't be stopped! Since she started crawling 2 weeks ago, she is now pulling herself to stand, cruising and climbing the stairs. She also cut her first tooth yesterday! She is the most motivated baby we've ever had!

Henry, on the other hand, is still our little lump of love. He may not be moving, but boy is he cute!! He still sees his Physical Therapist once a week. She's working with him to roll around as his form of movement, but he's not really interested. He's sitting up on his own now and he's pretty pleased with himself! Actually, I don't really mind that only one of them is moving right now!! TT pulls herself up to the toybox and pulls out toys for the both of them. I think I have all I can handle right now!!

I'm happy to have the big boys in school! Finn has some good days and some not so good days. The teacher keeps me in the loop and we are working on figuring out ways to help him behave better. Charlie is doing fantastic, despite not liking his teacher very much. He loves math and gets 100s on all his tests. His friend Mark broke his toe and Charlie is happy to be his "helper" whenever he can!

You rmoment of zen

Look out world!

Guess who's on the move? Yes, it's the reigning physical powerhouse Tallulah!! She's been rocking on all 4s since August and we swore it was any day! Now, with the help of actually picking up her hands (and slapping them down in front of her!) she is on the move! Uh oh! Better lock up the Legos! And I think this also means I better put up some baby gates... pronto!

The wheels on the bus

We finally got everything worked out with the district and the boys rode the bus for the first time yesterday. Charlie had to change buses from his normal bus (K-5^th graders and his best bud Andrew) to the preschool bus with Finn and 7 other pre-schoolers. He was not thrilled about the idea, but he conceded b/c he is a good boy! The bus not only comes right to the house, but it comes 15 minutes later in the a.m. and 25 minutes earlier in the p.m. It is awesome! I can get the boys on the bus and the babies just hang out in their exersaucers! It seemed like a Herculean effort to get this bus stop changed, but I can't tell you what a Godsend it is!

Finn has been looking forward to the bus since day 1! I got on with them yesterday to see where they would sit and square Charlie away. The aide helped Finn get in his seat. After saying good bye to Charlie, I went to take a picture of Finn and he said “What the heck!?” He wanted to be rid of me and my minivan! As I was getting off, I heard Finn say “Does this bus go fast?” The driver said, “Do you want it to?” And Finn said “NO!” The driver said, “Ok, we’ll drive medium.” The driver and the aide both couldn’t be nicer! She has pictures of each child by their seat so that they can find it when they get on. She also said that they sing songs while they drive to make it fun. I’m sure Charlie, once he gets over missing Andrew, will be singing right along!

I asked Finn’s teacher how he did and she said it went so well she almost forgot it was his first day! Hooray!

And, yes, this day was sponsored by The Gap!