Like Bill Cosby Says: "Kids Say the Darndest Things"

Much like his mother, Charlie tends to call it as he sees it. Most of the time it involves saying something completely awkward and socially unacceptable (aka "You have a hairy hiney.") The other day, Charlie says to Uncle Dan... "Heh, Heh, you're funny Uncle Dan... Funnier than I thought." We got a kick out of that b/c it was like he had already assessed how funny Uncle Dan was and was then surprised by him. But today was the kicker...

This morning, we were laying in bed like we do most mornings and both boys were laying on me, Finny on top and Charlie off to the side. Here's how the conversation went...

C: [sniff, sniff] What's that smell, Mommy?

S: What smell, Charlie?
C: It smells like poop.
[After the hairy hiney incident, I had a pretty good idea where he was going with this]

[sniff, sniff]
C: It's coming from your mouth Mommy! Your mouth smells like poop Mommy! Pee-U!

Well I couldn't breathe. I was laughing so hard. Charlie knew he said something funny b/c he started laughing too. I almost fell out of the bed.

Side note, later when I brushed my teeth, Charlie lovingly told me that my mouth didn't smell like poop any more! Thank goodness. Incidentally, it was morning breath folks, my breath doesn't normally smell like poop... at least I don't think it does!

You wonder why Finny learned how to say "Poop" yesterday! You have to hear him. It's clear as day! He says "PuP." I'm so proud!

On another note. We went on the 11th annual base tour this past weekend. 18 of us piled in 4 cars and drove down to Southern Maryland in search of the illusive government bargain. As "W" will admit, no bargains to be had in government, but fun was had by all. We visited the Caissons (the horses who carry dead presidents at their funerals). Finny loved the "Gugs," but Charlie was scared. Finny couldn't get enough of them. I had to stand there the whole time while Finny giggled and squealed "Gug! Gug! Guggy!" Then our friend the Gug tried to whisper sweet nothings in my ear and we were out of there!

And last, but not least, on October 7 my sister-in-law Jodi delivered a happy, healthy baby girl named Avery Jo-Ann Cogan. We were all ecstatic! She was 6 pounds and 18 inches long. Jodi and Chuck are doing great and are enjoying every minute of her! The rest of the Cogan clan is excited to have another baby girl in the family. We were beginning to wonder if anyone but Kelli could whip one up! For those of you playing the at home game, my parents now have 10 grandchildren; 7 boys and 3 girls! I'm hoping to get up to the Poconos tomorrow to see the little lass. I gotta see what a 6 pound baby looks like for myself!

As Paula Abdul says: "One step forward, two steps back"

This was supposed to be my triumphant blog about Charlie's pooping on the potty. Before you read on I must warn you, it's gross, it's graphic and if I had smell-o-vision it would be stinky!

Let me start at the beginning. I called into the Today show this morning b/c they had a live call-in to a pediatrician about baby and toddler questions. So, I called in about my "3 1/2 year old un-potty trained son." Well, needless to say our burning issue didn't make it on the air of the Today show. But, a few hours later low and behold, Charlie poopies on the potty. He was just lounging around without his diaper on (which I do a lot in the a.m. to try to encourage him to go on the potty. Sometimes it works and sometimes he pees on the playroom floor!) So I said "Charlie do you want to go on the potty?" And he says "yes." He sits down and proceeds to poop! I was so excited I danced and sang and took pictures of him and the poop and the potty and everything (I won't post the poop pictures, don't worry!) I asked if he wanted to wipe himself and he gave me his hand. I looked at his hand and there was poop on it. Ugh. (Warning: this isn't the graphic part!) I wiped it off and still rejoiced in this wonderful milestone! All Charlie wanted was to play with his "sound effects Pirate sword" that Daddy bought him for his Halloween costume. We just got it yesterday, but Joe told him he had to poop to get the sword. I guess he really wanted the sword. I was so excited! I called everyone, I texted, I was ready to rent an airplane and skywrite it!

I put him in his Diego underwear and put a pull-up over top of it just in case. Which normally he just wears diapers b/c pull-ups have failed me before, but I decided to chance fate. Can anyone say foreshadowing?...

Then, we went to McDonald's to get him a milkshake and play on Playland as a reward, in addition to the sword. While I was sitting there, he was quiet for a little too long up in the Playland. If I didn't know any better I'd think he were pooping. He came down the slide and I smelled the "oh-too-familiar smell" of Charlie's pungent poop. I looked in his underwear/pull-up combo and saw a mound of it. Ugh. So we made our way back to the car, but on the way I stopped in a thrift shop that I like to look at children's books. I figured he had the pull-up on what's the harm? (Oh, Gods how you forsake me!) So, we picked out some books and checked out. While in line, this woman turns around and says "someone's got a stinky diaper." I didn't even acknowledge her. I mean who says that? It's embarrassing enough to have a stinker, you don't have to call me out!

So we go out to the car and I say "Chal, let's change your pooper so you don't have to sit in it on the ride home." I lay him down in the back of the car and go to take his shoes off and IT'S IN HIS SHOES! No wonder he was so stinky! It squeaked out his underwear, overloaded the pull-up (I hate those things. Who do they think they are? I mean nothing says Big Boy like an embarrassing poop situation. I'd rather put him in a diaper. At least it keeps the poop in!) Then it ran down his pants and was coming out the holes of his Mickey Mouse Crocs! (I will never look at Mickey the same again!) His feet were covered in poop! It was insane! There was no way I could clean him up in the car, so I drove him home and showered him and his Crocs off! I won't get into the graphics of just how hard it was to get Charlie's particular brand of poop off of him. I'll just leave that to your imagination.

What a nightmare! So we're back to square one with the pooping! And I thought sifting through a little pile of poop in a diaper was my grossest job yet! Leave it to our kids to make liars out of us! Stay tuned!!

PS- For those of you with girls, potty trained or not, thank your husbands for his X chromosome sneaking through before those obstinate little Y's.