More sap than the Christmas tree...

We all get a little sentimental around Christmas. Maybe it's the cheesy Christmas specials. Maybe it's the extra sappy stories on the Today show. Or maybe, just maybe, it's God's way of forcing us to look around at our lives and be thankful for what we have. Now, we all know, that I am certainly not one to keep my mouth shut. And sometimes that gets me in trouble. But sometimes, I hope it makes people feel good. I tell my kids and my husband I love them at least 100 times a day. I try to thank my parents at the very least every time they walk out the door. And once in a while, for extra measure, I write them a card and thank them for just being them. I buy "Just How I feel" cards for Joe. I say I love you before I hang up the phone. Suzie recently went through her attic and found a lifetime's worth of letters from me (real doozies I'm sure!) Maybe in some ways I am just a big sap, but I just don't want people walking around not knowing how grateful I am for them and how much they are loved. People are all we have. True friends are few, and I do have some and am thankful for them, but love and human connections are what matters most.

It seems everyone is talking about scaling back Christmas this year. In our house, we've been trying to trying to keep Christmas lean for years. We've been trying to teach the kids that it's not all about the presents. We don't want them being obsessed with all the "stuff!" We just don't want them taking things for granted. In doing that, I realized it's them I shouldn't be taking for granted...

I was looking for quotes online, and I found a few I wanted to pass on.

"Your children need your presence more than your presents." ~Jesse Jackson

"You will always be your child's favorite toy." ~Vicki Lansky

"In bringing up children, spend on them half as much money and twice as much time." ~Unknown

"The greatest things in life aren't things"

And last, a little poem I found:

To My Grown-Up Son
by Alice E. Chase
My hands were busy through the day
I didn’t have much time to play
The little games you asked me to.
I didn’t have much time for you.
I’d wash your clothes, I’d sew and cook,
But when you’d bring your picture book
And ask me please to share your fun,
I’d say: “A little later son.”
I’d tuck you in all safe at night
And hear your prayers, turn out the light,
Then tiptoe softly to the door…
I wish I’d stayed a minute more.
For life is short, the years rush past.
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at your side,
His precious secrets to confide.
The picture books are put away,
There are no longer games to play,
No goodnight kiss, no prayers to hear…
That all belongs to yesteryear.
My hands, once busy, now are still.
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I could go back and do
The little things you asked me to.

Are you bawling? Because I was the first 3 times I read it! And then I look at Charlie who lately has been performing "marriage" ceremonies for me and him. And I think "he's not always going to want to marry me!"

We all need to take a little time and take a snapshot of our lives and realize how blessed we are. The things we think matter probably don't. But if we've made a difference in the eyes of our kids and our family, that makes all the difference.

I stay home with my boys, and it is the hardest (and best) job I have ever had. I love them more than words can say, and they truly are my greatest achievement, but some days I really think I am going to lose my mind! I think it's good to take a step back and realize that they are only this age once and they won't still be having temper tantrums in high school, so I need to just let them be!!

I feel like I've babbled and with my new "co-author" the pressure is on to be eloquent, but what I'm trying to say is be thankful for your life because you only live it once, and I am truly happy that you are in mine!!

Top Christmas Jams Around the Costal House Part 1 of 3: Christmas Music 101

Christmas music is an institution at the Costal house. We are shamelessly the kind of family that starts playing it after Halloween. I know, I know...I saw the Peanuts Christmas special, too, but we don't decorate early or start our shopping until after Thanksgiving...it's just the music. It's a tradition that pretty much started because Shannon hates winter...a lot. So, we use the holiday spirit to soften the blow. As uncool and unpopular as it is to admit...we just simply love Christmas music. We're simply ha-ving a wonderful Christmas time. Yes, we're those people.

In our defense, we love music in general. Most nights, some time after dinner dishes are cleaned, but before bath time, is Costal Dance Party Half Hour. This usually consists of our I-Pod blasting...Daddy and Charlie chasing each other around the island in our kitchen while Finn crawls doughnuts into the linoleum and giggles uncontrollably. Charlie and I have developed "moves" that we often do to impress Mommy, who is usually standing nearby. The favorite is "Stop and shake your booty." Charlie is awesome at it. Some of our Non-Holiday Dance Party favorites include:

Catch My Disease Ben Lee

Get Up, Get Down, Get Funky, Get Loose Teddy Pendergrass

Confetti The Lemonheads

Concrete & Clay Unit 4 + 2 (we tango)

The weekend after Halloween, the holiday hits start rolling like egg nog from the candy mountains. As is the case with most things, I am a Christmas music snob and purist. There are very few contemporary songs that get played in our house. It's mostly the classics. I have an IPOD genre that contains a carefully crafted list of 150 Christmas songs, classical to rock, choral to oldies, R&B to the crooners. To me, it's definitiveness is as much about restraint and research as it is about inclusion. Let me explain:

The key to a classic Christmas mix is avoiding repetition. Repetition is what makes people want to shove "holly" and "jolly" up someone's Heinken before December 20th. To avoid this, focus on the definitive recordings. There is a definitive version (or two) of each and every Christmas carol, one that stands above the rest. It needn't be the original recording, but often is. It should be the version of the song that evokes the essence of the song's theme. It should come from a time when Christmas albums weren't just a quick way for a pop star to capitalize on shirt-lived success cheaply. Sorry, Miley Cyrus. It's the version most often associated with the carol itself. It is rarely recorded after 1979, though there are some exceptions.

Some definitive recordings are easy, but others...well, not so much. While everbody knows that the definitive White Christmas is Bing's and the definitive A Christmas Song is Nat's, a truly great Christmas mix must reach much deeper.

Take Rudolph for instance. How do you pick among the thousands of recordings of this song. Well, a great collection need only spin three versions:

1. Gene Autrey's (the original and definitive) the "singin' cowboy's" version is actually the first print of what is now a perennial part of the season. His is THE version.

2. Dean Martin's is a good addition, because you can't have only one, right...it's Rudolph for crying out loud (See my film institute blog for more on Rudolph as Communist manifesto gone hideously astray) Dino plays with it enough to make it worth it, but not too much! He stops way short of the "Like Monopoly!" additions (ugh, I just got a shiver), but calls the reindeer "Rudy" in a gin-soaked, charming kind of way. He also gives Santa an Italian accent...which the Italians love, because they always suspected Santa was a paisano, anyway. The whole recording contains a juiced-up tempo and upbeat background vocal that harkens a time when Christmas songs belonged to the Rat Pack (for those who care...the definitive Let It Snow is Dino's definitive, as for Frank, you'd be hard pressed to go wrong, but the two must-haves are Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas and Christmas Waltz. Together, look for awesome versions of Marshmellow World and We Wish You the Merriest).

3. Now, you got the two biggies, so get creative with one more entry that represents your own style. Throw some cinnamin into the cocoa with the poppy, infectious harmonies of The Crystals version or the Motown vibe of the Cadillacs (don't miss their White Christmas...awesome) version, which has a cute little intro. Alvin Stoller does a fun mambo version. The nostalgic pick could be from Burl Ives since his is the one from the Rankin & Bass TV hit. You could do the Chipmunks or the Ramones, just keep it to one, so as not to Rudolph yourself to death. Don't worry, Rudy will shine his nose on other parts of your Christmas mix...in the form of Chuck Berry's Run Rudolph Run or We're a Couple of Misfits from the Rudolph soundtrack.

I could go on and on, but since most of you stopped reading lines ago...stay tuned to Casa Costal for more.

COMING SOON in PART 2: The top 5 Costal Christmas Jams & Christmas Albums

PART 3: A Digital Christmas Mix Tape featuring songs mentioned in the first 2 blogs.

Hang those stockings!

Introducing....Daddy!

It's with great pleasure that I welcome Daddy to the "Casa Costal" blog. Daddy is the creator of the "Oakcrest Film Institute Blog" (plug, plug) and the author of several award-winning made-up stories about pogeets and guggies. To offer this new addition the fanfare he deserves, we at Casa Costal Blog caught up with Daddy last night in the living room:

Casa Costal (CC): Hello, Daddy, and welcome aboard!

Daddy (D): Thank you, Daddy...it is so nice to be here (fixing his ascot and taking a long, slow drag from his corn cob pipe)

CC: May we be so bold as to begin by saying, you look amazing. Wow!

D: Me? No, no, no....you. You are a handsome devil (flashes a quick, but profoundly moving boyish grin)

CC: Indeed. And your breath...I have been really enjoying it...delightful...peppermint, with a hint of...is that nutmeg?

D: Tapioca.

CC: Naughty...but nice....(they giggle with the delight for several minutes) It is a pleasure to have you join the Casa Costal blog. You are a star of big studio projects, why go indie to join this rag-tag, grassroots blog that focuses on such topics as "poop," "viruses," and "incoherent moaning?" What motivated this move?

D: Well, first of all, I have always been a big fan of the blog, and the other day, on the red eye from Vienna, where I winter, I was reading the blog and thinking...yes. Good. The trying story of a young, blue-eyed mother, two adorable, but virally susseptible young boys...funny anecdotes...darling puns...double entendres...toilet humor...this is the project I have been looking for. Plus, frankly, I want to crush the Gallagher blog.

CC: of course...you know what they say about Pennsylvanians: "you got a friend...with a blog...in Pennsylvania"

D: Beautifully said, Daddy.

CC: Thank you, Daddy.

D: To this blog I will bring a certain joie de vivre...saivor fair...and other French words...

CC: Like croissant?

D: Exactly like croissant! This blog lacks nonsense! Where are the ramblings? Where are the long-winded sports references and obscure historical allusions? I shall bring them....like a wide receiver, I shall rise up and cradle the ball into my bosom, while also dragging my toes in-bounds. I shall rip through domestication anecdotes like Grant ripped through Richmond.

CC: (crying) You, sir...are a true American hero...and by American, I mean Cuban.

D: (silence. a very poignant silence)

Don't let Horizon steamroll our kids! Fire up your pens!

Usually my blogs are fun little quips about my kids' hysterical happenings. Today I am writing on a much more serious note. Recently, Horizon BCBS informed us they were terminating contracts with CHOP and University of Pennsylvania Health System. I thought they were playing chicken as a part of their ongoing contract negotiations. Then we got a letter from CHOP confirming this news. As of March 2009 , Horizon will no longer pay CHOP or UPHS claims.

I am utterly outraged. My children both see CHOP doctors and I have always felt secure knowing that we had the NATION'S NUMBER ONE PEDIATRIC HOSPITAL at our disposal. Now where will we go for this level of care?

The reason this incenses me is that my family, along with over 200,000 other New Jersey teachers, has Horizon insurance because that is who New Jersey has a contract with. We don't have a choice to change providers and now we are being told that our level of health care is being compromised.

I can't seem to make heads or tails if it is really a contract dispute or if it's a political thing. Are NJ lawmakers being pressured to force the insurance companies to keep their business in-state? I'm not sure, but let's write our congressmen and find out! Visit https://writerep.house.gov and find out who your representative is and send him this letter: (there is also an email version that doesn't mention being a teacher at the bottom)

Dear Congressman ________,
I am writing to implore you to get involved with the contract negotiations between Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania and Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield. As I am sure you are aware, Horizon announced that as of March 2009 they will no longer pay CHOP claims.

My family utilizes CHOP’s services both in New Jersey and Pennsylvania. We have always felt secure knowing that CHOP, the number one pediatric hospital in the nation was at our disposal. We have always received superior care from them and have now come to expect it. I will not send my children to inferior health care facilities all because two money making conglomerates cannot settle a contract dispute.

Horizon justifies CHOP’s recent dismissal by saying it “wants to get New Jersey residents to use New Jersey-based hospitals,” and there is pressure among New Jersey lawmakers to enforce such a thing.

CHOP’s Philadelphia hospital is the single largest provider of inpatient care to sick children in New Jersey. Their total economic impact across New Jersey was $593 million last year, supporting 3,434 New Jersey jobs. Their Kids First primary care practices see 122,000 children a year. Where will these children get medical care? They will be forced to seek it from the already overcrowded New Jersey practices and hospitals. Yet, these facilities are also beginning to drop certain insurance plans.

Horizon is currently seeking state approval to allow it to convert to a for-profit company. I urge you to oppose this. How can we feel safe that our insurance company is making decisions that are best for its patients when it must also answer to shareholders?

I am a New Jersey teacher and I receive benefits from my employer. I am not in a position to change my health care provider. Being an educator does not pay particularly well, but the health care, pension and job stability have always surpassed the lack of monetary compensation. I feel proud to be contributing the education system in New Jersey. I am looking out for the future of our children’s education. I am asking you to please look out for their health.

Please contact:
Mr. William J. Marino
Horizon BCBS of NJ
Three Penn Plaza East
Newark, NJ 07012
973-466-4000

Ms. Meg Jones
Executive Vice President and Chief Administrative Officer, CHOP
34th Street and Civic Center Boulevard
Philadelphia, PA 19104
215-590-6900

There are thousands of children’s lives hanging in the balance. Please help us continue to receive the superior care New Jersey families deserve.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
YOUR NAME HERE
YOUR ADDRESS HERE
YOUR PHONE NUMBER HERE
_____________________________________________________________
Or you can email the congressman. Here is a condensed version of the above letter:

Dear Congressman _________,
I am writing to implore you to get involved with the contract negotiations between Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania and Horizon Blue Cross Blue Shield. As I am sure you are aware, Horizon announced that as of March 2009 they will no longer pay CHOP claims.

Horizon justifies CHOP’s recent dismissal by saying it “wants to get New Jersey residents to use New Jersey-based hospitals,” and there is pressure among New Jersey lawmakers to enforce such a thing.

CHOP’s Philadelphia hospital is the single largest provider of inpatient care to sick children in New Jersey. Their total economic impact across New Jersey was $593 million last year, supporting 3,434 New Jersey jobs. Their Kids First primary care practices see 122,000 children a year. Where will these children get medical care? They will be forced to seek it from the already overcrowded New Jersey practices and hospitals.

Horizon is currently seeking state approval to allow it to convert to a for-profit company. I urge you to oppose this. How can we feel safe that our insurance company is making decisions that are best for its patients when it must also answer to shareholders?

Please contact:
Mr. William J. Marino Horizon BCBS of NJ
Three Penn Plaza East
Newark, NJ 07012
973-466-4000

Ms. Meg Jones
Executive VP and Chief Administrative Officer, CHOP
34th Street and Civic Center Boulevard
Philadelphia, PA 19104
215-590-6900

There are thousands of children’s lives hanging in the balance. Please help us continue to receive the superior care New Jersey families deserve.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
YOUR NAME HERE

Brand Loyalty

Joe says I haven't been keeping up with my rival blogger: the Gallaghers!

We've had some funny goings-on in our house. Charlie continues to tell me I smell like poop just because it got a laugh out of me before, so that's always fun. We trick-or-treated about 5 times including Halloween. We certainly got our $20 worth from Old Navy! Charlie was a pirate and Finny was a "wild monkey" as Charlie said. As per Charlie, Joe was a pirate and I was a princess (which meant I wore my wedding tiara on my head. There was no way I was wearing a princess dress... I would've been like Underdog (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suzanne_Muldowney) prancing around our neighborhood! Luckily donning the tiara got me off the hook.) Charlie got to wear his costume to Pre-k the other day for their Halloween party and they paraded around the block. I didn't have my camera for any of these events b/c it's at Best Buy getting fixed. Yay. Perfect timing!

Charlie said the funniest thing today. As perhaps you've noticed, Commerce changed over to TD Bank. It literally happened overnight. One day the lobby was red and said Commerce and the next it was painted green with a big green sign outside. We were driving by and Joe and I commented that they changed over and Joe said "I wonder if they're still our bank." To which Charlie said "I wonder if they're still gonna give out lollipops." Ah, the concerns of a 3 1/2 year old! I hope he remains obliviously innocent for a long, long time because the adult world is no fun!!

Which also reminds me... don't forget to vote on Tuesday! Let's get some liberal thinking back in the White House (my Dad officially wants to disown me and move to Australia.)

I love that picture of the boys. It was taken with MoMo's rockin' new camera on Sunset Beach in Cape May after the Halloween parade. Finny's face is so genuine. It's priceless!

Like Bill Cosby Says: "Kids Say the Darndest Things"

Much like his mother, Charlie tends to call it as he sees it. Most of the time it involves saying something completely awkward and socially unacceptable (aka "You have a hairy hiney.") The other day, Charlie says to Uncle Dan... "Heh, Heh, you're funny Uncle Dan... Funnier than I thought." We got a kick out of that b/c it was like he had already assessed how funny Uncle Dan was and was then surprised by him. But today was the kicker...

This morning, we were laying in bed like we do most mornings and both boys were laying on me, Finny on top and Charlie off to the side. Here's how the conversation went...

C: [sniff, sniff] What's that smell, Mommy?

S: What smell, Charlie?
C: It smells like poop.
[After the hairy hiney incident, I had a pretty good idea where he was going with this]

[sniff, sniff]
C: It's coming from your mouth Mommy! Your mouth smells like poop Mommy! Pee-U!

Well I couldn't breathe. I was laughing so hard. Charlie knew he said something funny b/c he started laughing too. I almost fell out of the bed.

Side note, later when I brushed my teeth, Charlie lovingly told me that my mouth didn't smell like poop any more! Thank goodness. Incidentally, it was morning breath folks, my breath doesn't normally smell like poop... at least I don't think it does!

You wonder why Finny learned how to say "Poop" yesterday! You have to hear him. It's clear as day! He says "PuP." I'm so proud!

On another note. We went on the 11th annual base tour this past weekend. 18 of us piled in 4 cars and drove down to Southern Maryland in search of the illusive government bargain. As "W" will admit, no bargains to be had in government, but fun was had by all. We visited the Caissons (the horses who carry dead presidents at their funerals). Finny loved the "Gugs," but Charlie was scared. Finny couldn't get enough of them. I had to stand there the whole time while Finny giggled and squealed "Gug! Gug! Guggy!" Then our friend the Gug tried to whisper sweet nothings in my ear and we were out of there!

And last, but not least, on October 7 my sister-in-law Jodi delivered a happy, healthy baby girl named Avery Jo-Ann Cogan. We were all ecstatic! She was 6 pounds and 18 inches long. Jodi and Chuck are doing great and are enjoying every minute of her! The rest of the Cogan clan is excited to have another baby girl in the family. We were beginning to wonder if anyone but Kelli could whip one up! For those of you playing the at home game, my parents now have 10 grandchildren; 7 boys and 3 girls! I'm hoping to get up to the Poconos tomorrow to see the little lass. I gotta see what a 6 pound baby looks like for myself!

As Paula Abdul says: "One step forward, two steps back"

This was supposed to be my triumphant blog about Charlie's pooping on the potty. Before you read on I must warn you, it's gross, it's graphic and if I had smell-o-vision it would be stinky!

Let me start at the beginning. I called into the Today show this morning b/c they had a live call-in to a pediatrician about baby and toddler questions. So, I called in about my "3 1/2 year old un-potty trained son." Well, needless to say our burning issue didn't make it on the air of the Today show. But, a few hours later low and behold, Charlie poopies on the potty. He was just lounging around without his diaper on (which I do a lot in the a.m. to try to encourage him to go on the potty. Sometimes it works and sometimes he pees on the playroom floor!) So I said "Charlie do you want to go on the potty?" And he says "yes." He sits down and proceeds to poop! I was so excited I danced and sang and took pictures of him and the poop and the potty and everything (I won't post the poop pictures, don't worry!) I asked if he wanted to wipe himself and he gave me his hand. I looked at his hand and there was poop on it. Ugh. (Warning: this isn't the graphic part!) I wiped it off and still rejoiced in this wonderful milestone! All Charlie wanted was to play with his "sound effects Pirate sword" that Daddy bought him for his Halloween costume. We just got it yesterday, but Joe told him he had to poop to get the sword. I guess he really wanted the sword. I was so excited! I called everyone, I texted, I was ready to rent an airplane and skywrite it!

I put him in his Diego underwear and put a pull-up over top of it just in case. Which normally he just wears diapers b/c pull-ups have failed me before, but I decided to chance fate. Can anyone say foreshadowing?...

Then, we went to McDonald's to get him a milkshake and play on Playland as a reward, in addition to the sword. While I was sitting there, he was quiet for a little too long up in the Playland. If I didn't know any better I'd think he were pooping. He came down the slide and I smelled the "oh-too-familiar smell" of Charlie's pungent poop. I looked in his underwear/pull-up combo and saw a mound of it. Ugh. So we made our way back to the car, but on the way I stopped in a thrift shop that I like to look at children's books. I figured he had the pull-up on what's the harm? (Oh, Gods how you forsake me!) So, we picked out some books and checked out. While in line, this woman turns around and says "someone's got a stinky diaper." I didn't even acknowledge her. I mean who says that? It's embarrassing enough to have a stinker, you don't have to call me out!

So we go out to the car and I say "Chal, let's change your pooper so you don't have to sit in it on the ride home." I lay him down in the back of the car and go to take his shoes off and IT'S IN HIS SHOES! No wonder he was so stinky! It squeaked out his underwear, overloaded the pull-up (I hate those things. Who do they think they are? I mean nothing says Big Boy like an embarrassing poop situation. I'd rather put him in a diaper. At least it keeps the poop in!) Then it ran down his pants and was coming out the holes of his Mickey Mouse Crocs! (I will never look at Mickey the same again!) His feet were covered in poop! It was insane! There was no way I could clean him up in the car, so I drove him home and showered him and his Crocs off! I won't get into the graphics of just how hard it was to get Charlie's particular brand of poop off of him. I'll just leave that to your imagination.

What a nightmare! So we're back to square one with the pooping! And I thought sifting through a little pile of poop in a diaper was my grossest job yet! Leave it to our kids to make liars out of us! Stay tuned!!

PS- For those of you with girls, potty trained or not, thank your husbands for his X chromosome sneaking through before those obstinate little Y's.