We are overjoyed to announce the birth of Henry Jude and Tallulah Jo Harper, born on Saturday, February 5, 2011. Henry weighed 7lb, 10oz and measured 19 inches. Tallulah weighed 7lb, 5oz and measured 20 inches.
Henry is named after Henry David Thoureau and Jude is after "Hey Jude" by the Beatles.
Tallulah came from a dream I had before I was ever even pregnant. I can't really describe the dream other than it was very vivid and I woke up feeling like God said "if you build it she will come." Not wanting to tempt fate, or God, I told Joe the name and he liked it. Now all we had to do was get pregnant again... and make a girl! When we found out we were having a boy and a girl, it was unbelievable!! How could we not name our little girl Tallulah?? Her middle name is Jo, after my Mom Jo-Ann, Harper, after Harper Lee the author of To Kill a Mockingbird. And ironically, Joe Harper is the name of a great character from Huck Finn. (And not to mention that Eddie Vedder's daughter's name is Harper, so we know the name ROCKS!!)
I went to the hospital for a scheduled non-stress test and Baby B's (aka Tallulah) heart rate was all over the place. They sent me for an ultrasound to check their fluid and other things. I was sent back to the room and didn't hear anything for over an hour. Meanwhile, we had an appointment for a photo shoot with the boys and my belly, so I kept calling Joe to say that I'd be home in a little bit. Then a nurse comes in and says "How soon can your husband get here?" Now, I'll admit, I was getting kind of antsy to get these monkeys out. I felt like the size of a planet and my mobility was rather pathetic; a definite low point was when an old lady on a scooter passed me! But I really wasn't ready at that particular moment to have them! Either way, it was happening, so I called Joe and he packed up the boys and raced over. My parents, thankfully, had just gotten in from Milan the day before, but were MIA at the coffee shop with no cell phones! I left a rather nervous message on their machine telling them to please come to the hospital asap, then I quickly called Suzy who always calms me and can rally the troops like no other!
Apparently, they saw low fluid on the ultrasound and needed to get the babies out. There was another girl who also needed a c-section, and they wanted me to bump her, so they needed to move fast. The nurses began prepping me for surgery as Joe and the boys came in. Charlie was so concerned that the nurses were hurting me. He kept coming to my side to make sure I wasn't hurt! Finn was just running all around the room, and was overjoyed when Christine, our babysitter, showed up to help! We were finally ready to go and got the OR for 2:00. I walked in feeling nervous for the surgery, but excited to meet these two amazing babies!
Joe sat by my side and tried to distract me from what was really happening. The first time he witnessed the "blood bath" he thought they were putting paper towels inside me, they were really... nah, I won't tell you what they were really doing! So, the surgery was going well and after 3 c-sections, I've come to realize that "Lots of pressure" means "Get your cameras ready b/c you're about to witness the big show!!" Henry Jude was born at 2:56pm and Tallulah Jo Harper was born at 2:57pm. Each baby was taken out and raced to the OR next door to be examined. I didn't get to see either of them, but I heard Tallulah cry right away, but not Henry. After the babies were out, I guess the doctors thought it was ok to talk shop. All I remember is wondering if the babies were ok, feeling like I was going to throw up and the doctors talking about sandwiches! I didn't want to say anything about the nausea b/c I knew it would bring on a whole host of problems, so I kept my mouth shut and tried to think of other things. Joe went next door to take pictures of what I couldn't see. At one point, I interrupted the discussion of hiring a new midwife and what was for lunch that day to ask if my babies were ok. I was told they were fine.
After what felt like forever, but was probably more like 10 minutes, Henry and Tallulah were quickly brought out to see me. I kissed each one of them, so happy to have a daughter and a son! I remember saying "Hi, little miss, I love you" to Lulu and "Oh, little man, you're so squishy!" to Henry before they were raced down the hall to the NICU. While I was being stitched, the CHOP pediatrician came out and gave me his assessment of the babies. I don't remember him saying anything about them having any trouble breathing. I remember him saying Henry's foot was turned in, that it looked like a club foot but it wasn't. So, I wasn't really prepared for what we had coming...
Joe did what he always does and went down to the nursery to fight to get the babies in recovery with me so I could nurse them. The only problem was, my nausea had turned into really low blood pressure and they were trying to get me to recover before I could meet the babies, or so I thought. Joe kept coming back and forth to check on me and report about the babies. He kept saying that their breathing was really labored, and I kept saying, "just let me hold them and they will get better." So, Joe would go back and insist to let me have them and he would come back without babies. I was in recovery for over an hour and I couldn't believe that I still hadn't held them! Little did I know, it would be another week before I actually held Henry! They finally told Joe the best they could do was to wheel me into the NICU so I could meet the babies. It wasn't ideal, but I took it.
My first meeting with both of them was at their bedside. Henry's respiration rate was insane. His poor little belly was heaving. I reached out to touch him and the Neonatologist told me not to because it was upsetting him. Well, that only made me cry more. Tallulah looked less sick than Henry with only a breathing tube (nasal cannula) up her nose, and they didn't yell at me when I touched her, so I got to say hi to her and then they took me to my room. I was so infuriated that I couldn't hold or nurse them, I remember yelling as they wheeled me out "SOMEBODY GET ME A PUMP!" Joe stayed in the NICU with them the whole night. I was doped up on morphine, so I guess I just slept and cried. I felt very unprepared for how sick the babies wound up being.
Each day uncovered a whole new obstacle. At first, they said they thought the babies had fluid in their lungs because of being c-sectioned. The first day, I held Tallulah. She was even taken off the nasal cannula and was breathing room air. I thought she was in the clear. Henry, however, was under a "humidity hood." It looked like a clear Darth Vader mask. We called him "spaceman Henry." He looked so sad and sick under that thing with the CPAP shoving his nose up and distorting his face. Every time I went near him, all I could do was cry. Joe stood vigil by his side, but since I wasn't able to stand up yet, so I just wheeled over to him and listened to his sad whimpers. I felt so helpless. All I could do to comfort my kids was breastfeed and hold them and I couldn't do either. Lulu was breathing room air for several hours, so they let me nurse her. I was overjoyed! I went to bed that night feeling hopeful and optomistic. We felt things were on the upswing, so Joe went to work on Monday.
I awoke to find that Lulu was back on the nasal cannula because a chest x-ray discovered that she had a leak in her lungs called a pneumothorax. Meanwhile, Henry was not improving. They were upping his oxygen levels in his CPAP and he wasn't getting any better. I felt like someone pulled the rug out from under me. Suzy, who had been through this 6 years ago with Jack and Luke, warned us that progress in the NICU is like one step forward, two steps back, but I just couldn't wrap my brain around these setbacks. I didn't understand what was going on and why they weren't getting better by now. By Monday morning, the doctors said that it wasn't just fluid in their lungs that they had "immature lungs." It wasn't going to change their course, but it was just a different diagnosis. They had discussed the possibility of transferring Henry to CHOP if he got any worse, but they hoped for the best.
By late Monday night, the pediatrician came in to say he paged the neonatologist and they were 99% sure they were going to intubate Henry and give him a shot of Surfactant. If this didn't work, they were going to have to transport him. They said once they started the procedure, they would know within 30 minutes if it worked. Joe and I were so nervous. We both sat in silence as the minutes turned into an hour and we still hadn't heard. Finally, after over an hour we walked on shaky legs over to the NICU to see how he made out. The dr said she wasn't "blown away by his response" and she was calling CHOP to get him transported. I was scared to death. I couldn't believe they were going to take him to a different hospital without me! Thank God Joe was able to go with him. He never left his side.
The transport team showed up like Gangbusters. There were about 7 of them. I wondered how they all fit into one ambulance. There were 2 nurses, a respiratory therapist, a neonatologist, an admissions person and some other people. It was unreal! I couldn't believe all those people were there to help our little boy! Thank God! While they got Henry ready to go, Tallulah cried and cried. It was the first time she had been inconsolable. It was like she knew brother was leaving. I held her and nursed her while we signed papers to transfer Henry. Once he was ready, they put him into this incubator / respirator thing that looked like a big, insulated pizza delivery box on a gurney. This one piece of equipment was more high tech than anything they had at Shore Memorial. I felt like saying, "can you just treat him in the ambulance?" Because I already knew he was getting better care. I was trying so hard to be brave, but when they went to leave and they wheeled poor little helpless Henry passed me, I just sobbed. The nurses stopped and let the side of the "pizza box" down so I could blow him a kiss and touch his hand. And with that they were gone. I sat with Lulu for a while before I hobbled back to bed. I knew Henry was going to get the best care possible, but it was hard to now not have Joe or Henry!
Before they left, the nurses packed up my breastmilk in a cooler. I told Joe to hold it on his lap and to PLEASE not put it in a bag. I think my exact request was "hold it on your lap." When he got to CHOP, he said the nurse practically ran with it raised over her head like an Olympic torch to get it to a freezer!! Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but after having 2 containers of colostrum "accidentally" thrown away at Shore, that's the kind of reverence for breastmilk I was looking for!
I texted Joe after they left and said I felt like he just left with the LA Lakers and left me there with the Harlem Globetrotters. For a few days, we thought maybe they could get Tallulah transferred as well, but she was steadily improving so there was no chance.
Joe refused to leave the hospital, so he had to put in every day for the "room lottery." The first night, when he "won" he was so excited you would've thought he won the real lottery! He was so stressed and sleep deprived, he was just happy to have somewhere to put his head!
Joe stayed by Henry's side tirelessly. They allowed Joe to give Henry breastmilk with a cotton swab, so he did that every chance he got. In those first hours, he needed a lot of help breathing with a high frequency ventilator. They also "worked him up for sepsis" with a double dose of antibiotics. The doctors gave Henry two more doses of Surfactant over the next 24 hours and monitored his progress. He was slowly improving and they were backing down his oxygen levels. One day, when the doctors "rounded" on him, they used the word "remarkable" when referring to Henry's response to the Surfactant. I never loved a word so much. Joe was learning the ins and outs of the NICU and never missed a round. He said it was like Grey's Anatomy how the residents tried to impress the Attending. I loved how they were trying to impress her with their knowledge and care for OUR son!!! Things were on the up and up, and on Thursday they took Henry off the ventilator, put him on the nasal cannula and Joe began feeding Henry breastmilk through an NG tube. The first 2 feedings were unsuccessful. They fed him 10ccs, waited 2 hours and pulled the 10ccs right back out. Ugh. What was going on? Then a 3rd feed went moderately well, and then they found blood. Major alarm bells went off and the doctors feared some big obstacles. Henry's nurse, who Joe had grown quite fond of (a rather intellectual, middle aged lesbian who shared Joe's sense of humor and love of politics and literature. Sorry, Joe, the good ones are always lesbians!), later told us he really "gave her a scare." They put Henry on a 24 rest from all feedings until I could get there to breastfeed him.
Meanwhile, back at Shore. I was released to go home on Wednesday, but was allowed to "nest" in my room without the modern amenities of food or drugs until Tallulah was released. I pilfered graham crackers from the "nourishment room" and was tempted to take uneaten food off of other people's trays, but I was never that desperate! Mom kept me well fed! Tallulah was weaned down to room air and was nursing like a champ. They finally took her off IV fluids and we thought we would be cleared to go home in 24 hours. Then she had some episodes of bradycardia and desaturations on her monitor while she was sleeping. Once again, blindsided, I was told they were ordering a test that would monitor her for 12 hours and she may have to go home on a monitor. Yikes!! Not the worst thing in the world; I just wanted to get the heck out of there!! The test results came back on Friday morning and after 6 days in the NICU, she was free to go!! Thank God!! Dad, Mom and Finny came to get us and we left! On the way out, Finny was calling the large orderly who was pushing my wheelchair a "fancy man." Thank God he had a sense of humor, because Finn wouldn't let up! We picked up Charlie from school and he got to meet his sister for the first time in the minivan! We went home, got acquainted with 1/2 of our new family and got ready to go up to CHOP in the morning.
Lulu's first night at home was like a dream! She must've known we were exhausted because she slept like an angel! We woke up and raced out the door to run some errands and get to the hospital as soon as possible. They said they were waiting on me to feed Henry and after a whole week, I didn't want to wait another second to hold and nurse that baby boy!! I wanted to run to the NICU, but only a week after my c-section I chose ambling instead! I was overjoyed to see him! I couldn't believe it had been a week since their birth and this was the first time I'd held Henry! The nurses were so nice to me. They were so sympathetic and accommodating. Of course, I stood there staring at him and crying at first and then they helped me scoop him up with all his wires and hold him skin to skin. I was nervous about the nursing because after a whole week of not eating I didn't know what he would do. Well, don't you know that little monkey jumped right on and never looked back!! They were making us do pre and post weights for every feeding and would only let me nurse him for 10 minutes at a time, but eventually they just let me nurse him whenever I wanted. I could've done backflips! He was just so adorable and snuggly. Suzy came by to bring me a breastpump that she rented and took my first picture holding both babies! The picture I anticipated would happen minutes after their birth was finally happening a week later, but I didn't care! I was just so happy to hold them both! Henry cried and cried and Tallulah just looked at him like he was from Mars! Their first meeting!
Henry's feeding was going well and he was gaining weight. They continued to decrease his oxygen and they took him off the IVs. We had no idea when they would say he could go home. We almost didn't want to ask. He was doing so much better than before, we were just so thankful. We had a nice little routine going. We got there for rounds, fed Henry, fed Tallulah, pumped, and went to the cafeteria for a lunch date (which was the best part, I have to say! Joe and I really enjoyed our time together in the CHOP cafeteria. The food is amazing for a hospital and it was the least stressful part of our day!) We usually stayed there until 8pm and went back to Gloucester in time to tuck the big boys into bed.
Monday morning, we got to the hospital to find Henry completely off of oxygen! What a milestone! We were ecstatic! The team rounded and said we could go home Tuesday! I couldn't believe it!! Our little spaceman had come so far! He had a few loose ends to tie up, like getting evaluated by PT for his turned in feet, but we were in the clear!! We couldn't believe after 10 days of what felt like a year, we were going home to start our life as a family of 6!
If the fact that you are getting this 5 weeks after the babies' birth is any indication of the craziness that is our life now, then you understand! They are an absolute joy and we can't imagine life before them! Charlie is an amazing help and is loving holding his brother and sister. He kisses them all the time and is always drawing pictures of our new family. Finny is adjusting to life as a big brother. He doesn't like when Mommy feeds the babies and asks me to cover my "nobboos." When I bring a baby into a room he's in he says "Oh no, not the baby!" He is always gentle with them and is warming up... slowly. When one of them cries, he says "Coming" and he Purells his hands before helping them.
More to follow, hopefully in a more timely manor next time.
